Look Deep Into My Eyes: The Heart of Erotic Hypnosis

Look Deep Into My Eyes: The Heart of Erotic Hypnosis

Written by

MADISON YOUNG

I consider myself an ultimate kinkster. For more than 15 years I have been diving deep into the arteries of the BDSM community and have tried nearly every kink you can think of. But even this kinky girl next door has an unexplored kink: erotic hypnosis.

This elusive fetish is the focus of Mark Wiseman’s book Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis, a podcast called Two Hyp Chicks and a bevy of edgy fetish porn.

It’s also a kink that a few of my friends find absolutely entrancing, so I reached out to my pervy pals to dig a little deeper into exactly what erotic hypnosis is and what makes it tick. Are people being hypnotized into having sex? How does someone call out a safe word if they are deep within their subconscious? I had so many questions and luckily my kinky posse was more than happy to educate this fledgling about the wide world of hypno.

My friend Hunter, a seasoned kinkster and dom in New York City, shared with me that erotic hypnosis is the process of using an altered state of mind, sleep state or conditioning in order to enhance erotic experiences or create erotic experiences that might not be possible without altering the bottom’s perception of reality.

Hypnosis is typically used for goal-oriented psychological applications or stage applications, so erotic hypnosis is closer to stage hypnosis. The purpose is to have fun. It differs in that it’s invasive and often private; you’re entertaining the bottom, who is also the subject, not entertaining an audience—although sometimes that’s fun for humiliation play or exhibitionism.

Hunter first learned about erotic hypnosis in college when he attended a class on the subject. He watched a submissive get superglued to a wall with nothing but words, and he realized how powerful the practice could be.

Max Cameron, a Seattle based BDSM educator, seemed to experience hypnotic leanings without any previous knowledge of erotic hypnosis. Cameron tells me that he did some research and realized that the ways that he supported partners during scenes were similar to hypnosis, and that inspired him to dive deeper and learn more about erotic hypnosis. Mona Darling, a sex coach and author of Kinky Sex Tips for Curious Girls also discovered a natural talent in the field of hypnosis: “My instructor told me I was gifted. My voice triggers an ASMR [autonomous sensory meridian] response in many people naturally. This coupled with my fascination with taboo play caused me to be obsessed with erotic hypnosis for several years.”

Hunter describes the practice of erotic hypnosis as like reading a bedtime story, but it can also be much simpler and have immediate applications. With a partner, you typically have conditioned them to go into trance more quickly and easily.

For example, Hunter would use a trance word with his former partner. This is a word—typically an obscure one to avoid accidental trance—that during a previous trance he would tell her would trigger a hypnotic state.

Based on the parties’ mutual objectives and the preceding negotiation, the trance state can be used to induce sensation, to play with power and control, or to enhance or suppress arousal and orgasm.

“A trance isn’t sleep like a lot of people think,” Hunter tells me. “It’s a state in which the conscious mind is switched off so that the hypnotist can gain direct access to the subconscious or unconscious minds.”

Darling explains it simply: “Hypnosis doesn’t make you do anything you wouldn’t naturally be inclined to do. It simply makes it easier. It puts you in a relaxed, suggestible state.”

Darling adds that erotic hypnosis works well in power exchange play and in surrendering to taboo fantasies, like going out in public fully cross-dressed or forced bisexual fantasies. “Starting with erotic hypnosis is great because it relaxes the submissive and gives them permission to let go, lose control and enjoy those taboo activities. After all, they were hypnotized. Right?”

Hunter enjoys leading his partner through lucid dream-like scenarios, often historical or science fiction, in which pain or pleasure can be administered in otherwise impossible ways. But sometimes the applications are romantic. For instance, he and his former partner once agreed to do a scene where he had her temporarily forget who he was so they could experience flirting for the first time all over again.

Cameron tells me that after the scene ends there is an explicit process of bringing the person back out of the trance and assisting them with aftercare.

Like any sexual experience, everyone’s experience with erotic hypnosis will differ. When Darling is working with a client who has an interest in erotic hypnosis, the experience consists of helping her client get into a relaxed state by having them lay back and close their eyes, and then guiding them through their desired fantasy.“I ask them what they see at certain points so they can help guide me,” she says. “Simple example: They walk into a dungeon. What do they see? Who is there? What toys do they see? What is the light like? Do they smell anything?”

As a novice, I was curious if erotic hypnosis always works. Hunter says that it doesn’t, that certain people are more suggestible than others, which is why stage hypnotists will often invite 20 people up on stage and then only hypnotize a few of them. They give them tests to see who’s more prone to going into a trance. Additionally, just like with sex, sometimes you’re not in the mood. A person also has the power to snap out of hypnosis if their safety is being threatened.

Just like any other scene, limits need to be discussed beforehand, and sometimes triggers should be put in place. Hunter tells me that he has done hypnosis over video chat before, and would always tell the subject that in the case of a fire alarm, they will wake up feeling alert and ready to take the necessary steps to get themselves to safety.

As with any kink or sexual exploration, consent is paramount. Cameron uses language that explicitly reinforces the notion that the subject has agency and can come out of trance and ignore suggestions both before the scene and during the scene. An example: “As long as it feels safe and appropriate, you’ll find that you cannot move your left hand.”

Hunter says that he doesn’t specifically seek out partners for erotic hypnosis, but he’ll suggest it to them if they seem like they might be a good fit. “A really good test for me is a hair pull. When I pull someone’s hair, sometimes it does nothing, but sometimes they melt into a little puddle and get very submissive. This is typically a good indicator that this person is comfortable with being in a submissive position where they’re being given commands.” (Hunter notes that you should never pull someone’s hair without asking.)

Siouxsie Q, a porn performer, activist and author of Truth, Justice and The American Whore, is one such submissive that thoroughly enjoys erotic hypnosis. ”I love erotic hypnosis play because, as a lifestyle submissive, I love roleplay that allows me to give up control, and in a way hypnosis is the ultimate submission,” she says. She has previously worked with a company called Mind Control Theater and says of her experience, “ I love playing the role of a glassy-eyed Stepford Wife fuckdoll—it’s incredibly hot.”

(Q cautions that hypnosis play in pornography can often cause problems with credit card companies and payment processors due to the grey line between fantasy and non-consent, which is difficult to decipher on film with acts such as erotic hypnosis.)

If you aren’t planning on making any hypnotic porn and just want to experiment with some hot new roleplay scenarios that bring in elements of erotic hypnosis into your bedroom, simply lay back, experience your own juicy surrender and open yourself up to a whole new realm of gratification.